if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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