Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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