Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
