I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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