How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
