Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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