She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
