so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
please come you make the beer taste better
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
