No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize