we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
