I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
