He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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