I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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