I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
