? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
