Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize