what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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