i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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