I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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