Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize