You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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