the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
