He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
soo... how was my night?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
