I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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