Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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