Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
God I need to hump something, right now.
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