ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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