You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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