if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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