Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
