That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
