K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize