Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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