I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think my nap took me to another dimension
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
