i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
