I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
