I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
