drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
