Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
