Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i dont even know how to be here
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
