what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
