I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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