Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
