Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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