Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
