I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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