ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
