I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
