So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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