To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
