I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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