Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
