Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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