there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
