I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Me. At least after what I've been through.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
