yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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