you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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